Gentle Leader

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Isaiah 40:11 He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; He gently leads those that have young.

Unless you have read the thoughts behind the painting, "Let your light shine before men", this post may not make sense to you so take a minute to read it to understand the whole story.

My girls love for me to read to them the thoughts that I have written about each painting, so a few nights ago, I had plans to read them the story about my grandmother's treasure box. That evening, we let the girls stay up late to catch fireflies, so I thought that would be a great night to share the story with them since it was about letting our lights shine. We got sort of carried away with our firefly hunting and stayed out much later than intended, so we put the story aside to read to them the following night.

The next night, as we were getting ready for bed, it began to thunder outside. For some reason, the power seems to go out with the slightest bit of wind near our home, so my girls decided to prepare themselves just in case of a power outage. Never have they done this before, but as soon as the girls heard the thunder, they each ran to grab a flash light to take to bed with them.

I printed off the story I had written, and we headed back to bed to read. My husband wasn't home so all four of us piled in my bed to read the story together. Virginia (4) fidgeted through most of it, and I wasn't sure that she heard a word, but Mary Helen(7) hung on every word I read. She has always loved a good story, especially ones from our childhood. Jordan (2) played with her flashlight and every five seconds, tried to pull the paper away from me. Virginia interrupted with questions like "Mom, who made that bed post?" and "Can we go to the pool tomorrow?" while Mary Helen just kept saying, "Be quiet, I am trying to listen!"

It seemed as if we would never reach the end of the story, and I began to question why I had even attempted this. Reading the story was beginning to feel as large a feet as rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, but like Nehemiah, I persevered, and by some miracle, they quieted down by the time I reached the end of the story. Then to my amazement, my oldest two screamed, "Read it again. Read it again". I was encouraged that maybe they heard something that I had read, so I proceeded to read it again while they listened somewhat quietly.

Mary Helen then asked with hopeful anticipation, "Do you still have that box?" When I affirmed that we did indeed still have the box, both of their eyes filled with disbelief and joy, and they jumped off the bed to go look for it. I sent them to the library to remove it from the shelf. They tiptoed as they carried it and held it out away from their bodies as if they were carrying the ark of the covenant. Mary Helen kept telling Virginia to be careful because this box was "very, very special" and that she was probably way too young to carry something so valuable. They were still in utter shock that it actually still existed.

The "let your light shine before men" card was still at the front of the box where I had taken it off the toilet and returned it to its home. We pulled it out so that Mary Helen could read the scripture to us. "Let your light shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your father which is in heaven." She smiled from ear to ear as she read it.

After she finished reading, I glanced down and noticed that the girls still had their flashlights. We turned out the lights, and I was reminded of the song, "This little light of mine", so we sat with our flashlights and sang the old bible song together. Then we talked about not hiding our lights under bushels, and they giggled and hid their flashlights under pillows and then pulled them out to demonstrate. Then, we talked about the fireflies from the night before, and how fireflies were a beautiful example of not hiding their lights.

Before being tucked into bed, the girls asked if we could keep the treasure box on our kitchen table, and my first thought was "sure, we'll put it on the cupboard next to the table so the baby won't get into it." We kept it there a few days until I realized that the lazy susan crayon holder that sits in the middle of our kitchen table was scratching our table, so the middle of our table was left looking lonely and empty. I took my grandmother's treasure box and placed it in the middle of our table and every morning, the girls take turns pulling out the same scripture cards that my grandmother read to her children. As I clean the kitchen, I see Mary Helen out of the corner of my eye thumbing through the scripture cards arranging and rearranging them as I did as a young child.

There have been many seasons, in which, although I have known God was with me in parenting my children, I have not sensed his presence. The night that they sat on my bed singing and playing with their flashlights was one of those moments where I knew, without a doubt, that He was there with me teaching my children about Himself. It was not me or my creative thoughts, but it was Him gently leading me as a parent. One night, he gave us fireflies while, the next night, He gave us flashlights to demonstrate his Word to his children.

The task of teaching my children about God and the gospel is incredibly intimidating to me. I have so much to learn about the gospel myself, and to be quite honest, I have no idea what I am doing most of the time. The one thing that I sense God impressing upon my heart is that the gospel is everywhere around us if we will only open our eyes and ask God to show it to us. In this instance, the gospel was in a painting, a firefly, a flashlight, and an old wooden box.

He has given us the tools, and He is gently leading us. Matthew 13:16 says, "Blessed are your eyes because they see and your ears because they hear." Father, open my eyes and ears to see what you are doing in my children's lives. Then, invite me to join in your work. If it was up to me, I would fall on my face in the midst of this crazy thing called parenting, but Lord, I am thankful that you are here gently leading my children closer to you. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your work. Amen

For those of you who read this blog, and picture my life being one giant sing along of "this little light of mine", let me just remind you that some of these stories are the highlights of my life as a parent, not the norm. Let me comfort you by sharing with you a more typical parenting moment in my life:

Went to the pool the other night for a relaxing night by the pool. Was functioning on little sleep. Got everybody to the pool after breaking into a complete sweat. Got to the pool and forgot swim diaper. Went back home to get swim diaper and then back to pool. All the kids jumped in the pool and the lifeguard blew the whistle for break time. Kids got out of pool. Baby scraped on old wound and bled profusely all over the side of the pool and on the table where we were about to eat. Cleaned up blood with baby's socks because I couldn't find the wipes. Lifeguard brought a band aid which baby mistook for a torture device and let out one of those screams where she doesn't breathe for 2 minutes. Baby cried for next 15 minutes. Break time finally ends, so the kids jump in the pool. Began to thunder so lifeguard told kids to get out of pool. Time to eat supper. Waitress brought out food, and I realized I had only ordered my own food and had forgotten to order my children's food. Children shocked and in disbelief that their mother would forget their food. Waitress also in disbelief . Me too. Began to wish the drain in the middle of the pool would swallow me up. Waited 30 more minutes for kids food while the baby uses my body as a jungle gym. One of the meals never came. Swam for fifteen minutes in which it was all I could do to keep my fully skirted Lands End tankini on with the kids hanging on my bathing suit straps. Called it a day and went home.

Needless to say, after moments like these, I am incredibly thankful when God gives me one of those sweet moments that I imagined parenting would be like before I had children. Thank you, Father, that even in the midst of all the chaos, and even in my failures and weaknesses, you are still there guiding me and carrying my children.